The inescapable "Desire" of the flesh...

St. Paul describes perfectly, the helpless state of the human emotion. As long as man is in this world he is under the strong, inevitable influence of the fleshly desires. As Jesus said, the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak. The flesh is too weak to control itself and the spirit cannot control the flesh though it is willing to. This ironically gives a totally opposite capacity of the flesh and also of the spirit, i.e., the flesh being very powerful in submitting to its own desires and the spirit being very strong in giving the feeling of guilt. It is so weird how any moral judgment vanishes or doesn't even come into the picture when the desire comes in. I have felt it so many times. No matter how hard I try, when the moment comes, I can't think of anything else but the pleasure of the moment. Why is it so hard? How can we control ourselves? I feel that whoever said that we have to have the power to control ourselves at these times doesn't know how hard it is. I have seen people who say such constructive things but never really have been through that phase, having a hard time now, after being through it.

I don't know how many of the other young people are going through the same thing while trying really hard to overcome it because I have been trying real hard for about 2 months now and it isn't getting any better. God Himself knows that we are incapable of winning such temptations ourselves but I just cannot understand how He is trying to help. I have talked to a lot of priests, great Christian friends and ministers who say only one thing but a real practical solution. They say I need to pray when I am already losing my interest to pray. I don't feel comfortable anymore kneeling down facing the wall and raising up my hands. I am totally blank when I am sitting down to pray. I can't think of anything to pray about and praising more than 5 minutes starts feeling stupid to me.

Is it the body or the mind that is suppressing the urge? Is it my mind that makes me think that I can sit or sleep comfortably without reading the bible or praying? I guess it is both, both work together as a team. And having a girl who is social and open minded about relationships, it is pretty tough for a Christian to walk the path, especially for someone like me with no one to keep me accountable or keep an eye on me. I have learned one thing for sure, talking about controlling your desires is of no use unless you do something about it. No cat can sit in front of the bowl of milk without drinking it.